In 2022 I have decided to start each month of the year off by reading the work of an author that is new to me. “A Novice’s First Take” will be my raw feelings, thoughts, and opinions about these stories. It will consist of three sections; my pre-reading thoughts, my raw thoughts, and hindsight. For the month of February I have been anticipating reading Gravity by Ashleynicole. If you are not aware, Gravity is about the love story between Cevyn and Kaswell. They have an on and off friends with benefits relationship, but this time when they are “on” tragedy strikes the pair, and things spiral deeper within their relationship. *SPOILER ALERT in The Raw Thoughts section*
My Pre-Reading Thoughts:
I’m a little scared. I don’t know what it is about crying that scares me but it does. When it was first released, I saw a lot of people posting about how they were in tears while reading Gravity. A part of me doesn’t want to read it because of the super emotional impact that I’ve heard that this story has. This is especially because suicide, which is one of the trigger warnings, is a very sensitive subject for me. Another part of me is taking it as some weird challenge of passivity. Probably super unhealthy, but that is where I am for right now. I’m interested to read what happens.
Raw Thoughts:
If I’m learning anything, laughing to keep from crying is all too real. Instead of crying when I felt it coming, I laughed, which was really weird. From the synopsis and the trigger warnings, I knew as soon as Ayte was introduced. The plot was laid out before me. Her demise would be the tragedy that strikes Cevyn and Kas. Throughout the story I was preparing myself for that. Still, even with everything that led up to it, I was shocked. Ayte’s words to her loved ones were the precursor for everything. She knew and she planned. She’s turning a new leaf, but it’s not the kind that Cevyn thinks. My mind is just screaming she’s about to do it, she’s about to do it. I feel like this is the first story I’ve personally read where a character succeeded at taking their own life. I still am trying to hold out hope like maybe when they find her blood there will still be a pulse. No, there wasn’t and even though I knew there wouldn’t be, it still was shocking, really hurtful.
I am a spiritual person and I believe in God, Jesus, and the fact that there is a flow to how the world works. This just makes me think about how on time God really is when it comes to providing. I know Cevyn probably isn’t thinking this at the time, but God was really working on time for her through it all. The darkness is all too evident, but there was some light in this. Kas came back into Cevyn’s life right on time, when she needed someone to hold her up for once (I think Ayte knows this which is why it’s the “perfect time” for her). They both were going through their own storms, but they acted as umbrellas for each other, providing some relief from the rain. Then Cevyn got to spend good quality time with her sister on that vacation and their last moments together were beautiful. Also, Omere Sr. finally got to reconnect with the love of his life, even if it was for the last time. Even though it hurts like a mf, Ayte is where she wants to be and she has peace that she hasn’t felt in a long time. I hurt for her loved ones, but a part of me is happy that she is no longer experiencing the constant torment. I don’t believe that this was an act of God (clearly because it’s fiction, but stay with me), but His hand will be in the healing.
Hindsight:
Honestly, Gravity is good. It’s definitely giving 4, maybe 4.5, stars for me. Ashleynicole’s writing style is *chefs kiss*. I appreciate her word choice, and the lack of grammatical errors are proof, in my opinion, that she takes her work seriously. One thing I loved was the positive portrayal of Black father/son relationships. Lil Kas being able to express himself and his emotions to Big Kas was refreshing. Another thing that I loved was the real sisterly bond between Cevyn and Ayte. It was freaking beautiful. We not only got to experience love between partners, but also real unconditional love between family members. The writing showed that one love exchange wasn’t more important than the other, instead they are both necessary. Gravity is not just a romance, it’s about love on multiple parts of the spectrum.
The art of writing is powerful. It makes you think and it makes you feel. The person with the pen has that power when they do it well. From what I’ve witnessed with Gravity, Ashleynicole has that power in her. She is gifted. She is someone who I have heard a lot of great things about, but I never saw that for myself until now. Ashleynicole captured and authored Kas and Cevyn’s story phenomenally, and I’m excited to dive into the rest of her catalog!
I hope you enjoyed my take. If the trigger warnings don’t trigger you, I would recommend Gravity as your next read. Want to share your own opinion? Write it in the comments or you can share it with me in my DMs!
Ciao,
J. Lynae 💋
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